Monday, September 30, 2013

Pictures! And an announcement!

Hello dear readers!

    I am officially in Kyzyl! For some pictures from the journey, as well as some pictures from my walk around town today, please have a look at this link:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151977138993140.1073741825.615098139&type=1&l=1396d44099

Don't worry, you don't need a Facebook account to view it.

Also, I just wrote two other posts back-to-back, so please have a look at both of them, one about Moscow and one about Krasnoyarsk. You don't want to miss out!

Yours truly,

Joey

Reminders for the journey

The time had come. Five months after receiving notification about the Fulbright and four months after finding out that I was going to be teaching in Kyzyl, I was standing in Moscow's Sheremetyevo airport, awaiting my flight to Krasnoyarsk, the midway point to Kyzyl. The emotions that hit me while I was waiting for my flights to Russia all came rushing back: excitement, worry, sadness, expectation, and all the ones in between. Flights all across Russia were being announced, including ones to St. Petersburg. To say I didn't think about running to they gates for those flights would be to lie. I was embarking on a journey to a place unknown and completely different from anywhere I had been before. In St. Petersburg, I knew people, felt attached to people and to places. I didn't want to leave that behind, but we don't grow by staying in one place. We need to move, either mentally or physically and stretch our legs and mind. I was about to do both.

But in any case, I was panicking a bit. Ok, maybe a lot bit. I was seriously going into homesick mode, for St. Petersburg. Slowly, but surely the minutes and then hours ticked by and the gate was posted for my flight. I headed to the waiting area and soon enough, the announcement came to start boarding. Here goes nothing.

It was a full flight for a 12:40 AM trip to Krasnoyarsk. We left the ground and Moscow lay below us, burning brightly in the night. It was an amazing sight to say the least. More than anything else, seeing the lights at night makes you understand how big the city actually is. I caught my last glimpse of European Russia before our plane slid through the clouds. It was at this time that I realized that I wasn't going to get much sleep. We left Moscow around 1:00 AM and we getting into Krasnoyarsk at around 9:00 AM (according to the schedule, but probably later). The flight was only going to last four hours, so that's the amount of sleep I was going to get if I could even fall asleep. I didn't fall asleep right away of course, also they came around offering us drinks and a light meal. It was delicious, but also a bit strange for a 1 AM flight. No complaints though from my end. I then shut my eyes and did my best to calm my thoughts for at least a bit of rest. Sleep came and went and before I knew it, the sun was shining brightly into my eyes. Of course, we were heading straight for it (going east I mean). The captain announced that we were making our descent and that's when I saw this:




The last time I was in Siberia, it was covered in snow. This was during my trip on the Trans-Siberian railway. After that trip, I swore I would live in Siberia. St. Petersburg worked its magic though (staying there longer and seeing the summer won me over) and now I don't have the same desires as before, but seeing the Siberian landscape spreading out to the horizon awoke in me once again all the feelings I had during that trip. Siberia is mighty and I uttered to myself as we landed, "Ok ok, it is beautiful." It was good to be back out here and the mix of emotions I had felt in Moscow started to recede a bit and I focused my mind on the task of getting into the center of Krasnoyarsk and deciding what I was going to do for the day. I met up with my host who I stayed with during my last tenure in the city. I was planning on just holding up in a cafe for most of the day, but she recommended a spot outside the city. I decided "why not?" I put on my adventure hat and set off on a bus. The place I ended up going to a "Funpark" called "Beaver Ravine". It's a ski/outdoor adventure base. I rode the ski lift up to the top and beheld Krasnoyarsk from above. That was one side of the mountain, on the other side was something like this:
 Nature has a wonderful way of yanking away from me the gift of speech. I can only stop and stare at the majesty of it all. It's a world so beautiful and more or less untouched by us. That in and of itself is an awesome thought to ponder.

What struck me then as I gazed at the awesomeness of the mountains was a sense of calming minuteness. The fresh wind carried away all my fears momentarily and I was reminded right then and there that there is little need to worry about what the future will bring in Kyzyl. The year will be great, the work rewarding, and the connections made unforgettable.
In my opinion, Siberia teaches a person how to live. William Wallace (well, at least Mel Gibson's William Wallace in Braveheart) says that "Ever man (person) dies, but not every man (person) really lives." Travelling across Siberia two years ago changed me perspective on my time in Russia. It was cold and there were moments when I felt rather alone and lost. I got into situations and had no idea how I was going to get out of them. In the end though, I survived and everything turned out great and I returned with a perspective of having to cherish every moment even stronger than the last.
I learned that the harshest and coldest of climates can also be a time for love and fun. The warmest of hearts can warm any person faster than a cup of tea. Looking out into the mountains, I remember all of that and felt reassured that I was where I needed to be for the time being. I don't think I'll stay "out here" forever, but I need to stretch my mind and body further away from what I know.

Without sounding too romantic, I "descended from the mountain" on the ski lift and with renewed purpose, returned to the city, ate some KFC (not my proudest moment), and set off for the bus station.

16 hours lay before me until arriving in Kyzyl.

Let's go.





Sunday, September 29, 2013

On the Road: Moscow

It's a cold, rainy night in Moscow. The rain that I avoided while in St. Petersburg has finally caught up with me here in the center of the country. It is of course, not the geographical center of the country, but the political and financial center. All the money is here and it's easy to tell - prices in Moscow are much higher than other places in the country, including St. Petersburg. An example can be found in housing. The listed prices for apartments that I saw in Piter numbered around two million rubles (around 62,000 dollars) while in Moscow, I've seen prices upwards of six million (188,000 dollars). Prices for food, entertainment, and transport all follow this logic.
Moscow for me has always been a place I'd rather visit than live in due to many reasons. First off, the city is huge. I will be the first to say that I very much enjoy living in a big city as opposed to the small towns that I am accustomed too. However, I can't say the same about a megalopolis - and that's what Moscow seems to me. We are located twenty minutes from the center of the city by subway. It is rather close in all actuality, but the thing is, that this isn't the end of the city. Standing on the top floor of our hotel, the landscape spreads out, it seems as if the whole of Moscow is laid bare before us. On one side, you can see towards the center of the city - where the seats of power sit (You can't actually see the Kremlin, just look towards it). On the other side the land expands out with row upon row of apartment buildings. I've seen these спальные районы (literally "sleeping neighborhoods", but better understood as residential neighborhoods) in ever city I've visited in Russia, but this was the first time I was a little bit 'spooked' by the sight of them. The buildings just keep going and going - one square after another. It betrays the size of Moscow and the speed at which the city is growing. Cars move through the streets all night - the city indeed never sleeps.

Main building of Moscow State University - one of the
"Seven Sisters"
The other reasons for my preference to stay in St. Petersburg are political and social. Russia is the largest country on the planet. To fly from one end of the country to the other takes around nine hours - the same amount of time it takes to fly from New York to Moscow. Yet, the political and economic center of the country is located far away from Siberia for example, the piece of Russia's territory that arguably drives its economy. The political culture and system of the country is centralized in Moscow. Everything we hear in the US about Russia usually takes place in Moscow. Many in Russia dream of heading to Moscow in search of opportunities (hence the growth rate of the city). It strikes me as unfair and inefficient that one city should hold such a sway over so many people and such a vast tract of land. I say this with very little idea of what would be better for a country and specifically for Russia. Notwithstanding, it still causes me a bit of grief when people speak highly of Moscow, because there is a lot of potential in the so called "provinces". I'm drawn to those places more or less. We can't forget about people, because then it only becomes a matter of time before we are forgotten ourselves.

Yet at the same time I will not deny that Moscow does not contain beauty. I still enjoy immersing myself into the crowds that wander its streets, even though I do not feel at home among them. Other people do call this city home though and that is beautiful because it means there are stories to be heard, love and loss to be shared, and a present to live in together.

Moscow is one piece (albeit a rather big piece) of the Russia puzzle and is worth learning about and discovering. As the rain continues however, I found myself drawn more to my warm bed, than to Red Square.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Родное место: Санкт-Петербург

"Люблю тебя, Петра творенья..."


My last post concluded with the words, "I knew I was home." It's been a week since I returned, and I can safely say that the feelings of home still remain. At the present moment, I'm sitting in Smolny, the same place where I studied two years ago. I see familiar faces, say "привет" (hello) to those I know, and wander halls that once confused the hell out of me (okay, they still do - that's what happens when you turn a mansion into an educational institution). Everyone asks me if I'm studying here or teaching. I want to answer yes to each and every one of them (specifically that I'm teaching, not studying - I need a bit of a break from that), and come here every day as I did before. That however is not where my road is leading at the present moment. I still need to go further East before returning back again надолго (for awhile).

I could say that it's as if I never left, but I did leave. Just as there are familiar faces still at Smolny, there are just as many that no longer wander the halls. Replacing them are already two new classes of students. These faces are completely new to me. It's easy I think to get nostalgic about a place or a person, and I am certainly a person who gets nostalgic quite often, however it does us no good to constantly live in that nostalgia. It can keep us from living and being in the present. First coming back to Saint Petersburg and Smolny, every spot I had been before would elicit memories, both happy and sad, and pictures of the past. I would stare and remember and an urging inside me would long for a return to those times. Everything was so much better, wasn't it? That is to assume, as if the present is worse than the past. It isn't though - the present is alive and moving and open to just as many possibilities as I experienced in the past. Thus, my nostalgia is disappearing little by little.

I noticed it first on the second day of my being in the city. At first I was afraid, thinking "Oh no! This must mean I don't love St. Petersburg as much as I thought!" I walked to places where I had been, searching for something to be nostalgic about, but it became more and more difficult. I was getting worried. Walking the halls of Smolny, I wanted to feel as if I hadn't left - I wanted to remember all that had happened. I couldn't figure this out on my own though and it took a rather неприятный охраник (an unpleasant security guard) to snap me out of this state. It was the second time I came to Smolny and I had my passport ready. Theoretically, they would let me in (there is a law I believe that states that anyone with a passport can be let into state academic institutions). The security guard that morning apparently did not think I was worthy of that law and did not grant me entrance. I was mad. For one whole year I came and went from this place freely. I studied and worked here and now this guy is telling me I can't enter?! Eventually the problem was resolved with some heated discussion led by one of my former professors (my Midwestern temper just wasn't going to do the job). It hit me like a brick just then: I was taking it all for granted. I had assumed they would let me through without argument and I could continue on as before as if I had not been gone for a year. That's not how its going to work for me though. I have been gone for a year and Smolny has survived, but not the nostalgia and that's okay.

Nostalgia has its place of course. Its what drove me in my efforts to return to St. Petersburg and to Russia. Pictures of the past burned in my mind and soul like fuel in a steam engine. Sometimes the expectations about my return were unrealistic perhaps (like being met at the airport by a representative of the Russian government who would give me citizenship), but it was what I needed at the time. Now that I've arrived, I need to (and have to a certain degree) shed those thoughts and embrace the reality of what is. St. Petersburg is still just as beautiful as it was two years ago, but Russia has changed and so have I, and so have the people I knew. To expect that things will be just as they were two years ago is even more unrealistic than expecting the Russian government to grant me citizenship upon arrival (I'm still holding out though, you never know). Nostalgia like that can be harmful. I'm holding myself in a mold that I've outgrown and the same goes for the city and my friends. Thus I cast aside that mold.

When something bad happens in the past, they say you should forget it and move on. It may take some time, but it is important to move that memory to a place where it won't bother you in the present. I wonder if we do the same thing with happy memories? I've "moved on" in a sense from the happy memories I have in St. Petersburg, because I want to embrace the present and not be bound to the past. It isn't the same as forgetting as I still remember my year here with a smile, although the smile doesn't turn into sad longing. It becomes inspiration for the present. The past, whether happy or sad, can unhealthily hold me in one place. If I'm staring at a building I was in two years ago, remembering those times, I may not notice the new restaurant or museum that opened across the street. Whether I stand or move, the world is rushing past, and I want to be in that rush. Thus I keep the past where it is - in the past.

Yours,

Joey

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Departure: The “Leaving behinds” and the “going forwards”

For me, the day before departure is usually surreal. I want to carry-on as if it is an ordinary day, both out of habit and out of a sense that traveling is an ordinary part of life. Yet, it is also the last day I will see many places and people for an extended amount of time (a very long time in this case). All the emotions are present: joy, fear, happiness, nervousness, sadness, anxiousness, and a sense of adventure and expectation. For the first time in a long time, I had packed everything in advance, thus leaving me with little to do but sit around and wait (twiddle my thumbs, watch TV, or patter about nervously). This isn't something I’m so keen on doing. Luckily, my nephew decided to be born on September 1st two years ago, giving me a bit of a distraction from the waiting. Specifically, this distraction came in the form of a cake.

I volunteered to bake the birthday cake for the occasion – my final farewell so to speak. And what better of a farewell than a cake that will send the little children home with a sugar high and eat away at the enamel of our teeth. Thus was conceived the idea to reincarnate a masterpiece of a cake that was first created in May of 2013 in honor of the completion of a senior thesis (Eric Halvorson’s senior thesis as a matter of fact). To make a long story short (a year-long story in fact), Eric wrote a very large thesis and spent a lot of time on it. Therefore, the only logical cake that would coincide with his masterpiece was a cake of equal size and magnitude. The result (as created by Kelly Dumais) was a triple-layered red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting in between the layers and chocolate frosting over the whole cake. I adapted this for the birthday party by baking a two-layered red velvet sheet cake with the cream cheese and chocolate frosting.
My cake.
The inspiration.

The process of making the cake provided adequate distraction and helped pass the time as well as give me the opportunity to have frosting for lunch. The cake was delivered and the party was fun (as well as a bit noise – little kids and all).

My final day of departure was also marked by the words “Wow, I've made it.” I've waited a while for this moment and finally arriving at the edge of my wait created the mix of emotions listed above. It was only a matter of hours until I left, not days, weeks, or months. Accompanying the sudden onrush of expectation and excitement was a quick run through of my packing exploits to make sure I had everything I wanted to bring. Flights were checked, boarding passes printed, and my passport and visa checked about ten times (to ensure it had not cancelled itself at some point since I received it). There was last minute rearranging of bags as well as goodbyes and itinerary checks. After all that was finished, there was one last ritual that had to be completed – the movie. I didn't actually think about it last night while I was watching the film, but before each big flight (meaning before each time I leave for Russia for back to the US), I watch a movie. Specifically, the film fits a certain criteria – the theme having something to do with new beginnings, finding a new home, etc. The film last night was “Serenity” (a good film based on the TV show “Firefly” – I highly recommend watching the show, then seeing the movie). All was said and done around 11:30 PM. My alarm was set for 3:00 AM. One may ask why I did not lay down to sleep earlier. Well, I couldn't. Even when I did finally slide into bed, I couldn't fall asleep. I was ready to go – full of energy. Not a good combination for sleeping, however I did eventually fall into dreamland after a bit of tossing and turning.

Then came the sound of my alarm – a loud tune, ringing through the halls of my dream. Barbaric. In any case, the time had arrived and I was up. Tea and toast were the order of the day for breakfast with the added touch of eating on the front porch. 3:15 AM is a very loud time of morning in case you were wondering. Bugs were making their music, the chorus raising and raising without much hint at receding. It was beautiful. I even saw three raccoons. Lovely creatures. It was a fitting final breakfast before departure – serene and dark and quiet. The sun wasn't going to be coming up for another couple of hours, at which time we (my parents and myself) were already at the airport.

The goodbyes were said and I boarded the airplane, the first of many (I had a total of three airplanes to ride in before even leaving the US!).

Consequently, my favorite and least favorite moments of flying come at the same time – taking off and landing. I always get a bit tense at those moments. There’s a cool tradition that I've seen in Europe (and especially in Russia): when the plane lands safely, everyone claps. It’s at the same time a “Yay! We’re alive” as much as a way to thank the pilots for getting us to our destination. I like it, so I always clap when my plane lands safely. I haven’t quite figured out what I’ll do if the plane doesn't land all that safely, but let’s hope that doesn't happen really soon. J

Getting back to my adventures flying over the US and then over the Atlantic and Europe, let’s just say that all the planes landed safely, just not at the most desired of times. It all started with a sandwich in Boston. I had enough time between flights to grab something quick to eat. I stopped at a sandwich shop and saw on the menu an item with “roasted vegetables” and “herb goat cheese.” Now that’s what I need, I thought. I placed my order and waited. Now, maybe this is just me, but when I see the words “roasted vegetables,” the word “hot” comes to mind. That isn't apparently what the sandwich shop people think of when they see their own menu. I bit into my sandwich eagerly and was greeted with cold vegetables. It wasn't bad, just not what I was expecting. I finished the sandwich and told myself that if this is the worst thing of the trip, then that’s okay.

I spoke too soon.

Three hours later, I was sitting on the plane to New York and the plane was sitting on the runway in Boston. It wasn't the ideal plan that I had in mind. Bad weather between the cities kept us waiting. I thought for sure that I would miss my flight to Moscow – also not high on my wish list. Recalling to mind my trip back to the US after my year abroad, I ran through JFK to the Aeroflot terminal. I arrived sweating, dragging my luggage behind me to find out that this flight was also delayed. This was a good thing, because it gave me time to get through security and still make my flight. The bad side to this news was that I would not make my intended connecting flight from Moscow to St. Petersburg. As the Russians say “бывает” (it happens). We left New York two hours after our scheduled departure time. Greeting us on the plane though were fine accommodations as well as a warm meal. For those of you who don’t know, Aeroflot has the best airplane food. It’s a fact. The cheesecake we had for dinner (yes, you read correct – cheesecake) was superb! With a full entertainment system in each seat, I settled in for the 9 hour flight.

The rest of the trip turned out fine, as I am now in St. Petersburg writing this post. However, there were little adventures, as always! It’s funny, because I always say, “where there are Russians, there will be adventures.” Oh how true that is! Luckily this time around I had no trouble passing through passport control. That was just wonderful. Grabbing my luggage, I made my way to the Aeroflot desk to find out which flight I would take to St. Petersburg. It was 15:22 and I was registered for the 16:10 flight. Ok, let’s do it! One thing, they told me, I needed to pay for an extra piece of luggage before boarding. Oh, right. After more running, I made it to security, where I was stopped to open up one of my bags. They didn't like something they saw in the scanners. I must add that I made myself proud at this moment, because the lady asked me to open up my bag (they asked and they never touched my bags, perhaps the TSA could learn a lesson from the Russians) and said they saw something metal that could have been eye glasses. She asked me where our the glasses and I responded, “They’re right here” (pointing at my glasses on my head). She chuckled and bit and then went back into business mode and said that’s not what she meant. Eventually, we discovered that the cause of their concern was my clipboard. Then I was off running to my gate. I made it, but I was one of the last passengers to board.

Woohoo!

The rest is very simple: I arrived in St. Petersburg, saw what had to have been half the city’s police force hanging out at the airport (G 20 summit) and ordered a taxi to my apartment.

Piter rewarded me with a beautiful sunset, great weather, and of course, the city itself.


I knew I was home.